The Dark Side of Toxic Positivity: Embracing All Emotions for a Healthier Life
Toxic positivity is a mindset that prevents us from healing and living well by forcing us to put on a happy face even when it’s not appropriate. While optimism has its benefits, toxic positivity can undermine our health-related quality of life by discouraging us from experiencing and expressing our full range of emotions, including sadness, anger, frustration, and worry.
Toxic positivity is so ingrained in our society that it’s almost ubiquitous. We see it on t-shirts, souvenirs, and bumper stickers emblazoned with slogans like “Good Vibes Only” and “Choose Happy.” While these messages are often well-meaning, they promote a mindset that suppresses any emotion that isn’t positive.
For our purposes, we can define toxic positivity as the belief that people should maintain a positive mindset no matter how dire or difficult a situation is. It rejects all difficult emotions in favor of a cheerful and often falsely positive facade. Toxic positivity can lead to the shaming of others when they have negative emotional reactions.
Here’s the thing: toxic positivity creates a breeding ground for trauma and shame, making it easier to rely on unhealthy coping strategies. How do I know this? I’m human, just like anyone else, and I’ve been affected by it too, perhaps more than I’d like to admit. Regardless of whether we call it poor circumstances, trauma, or toxically positive environments, our lived experiences undoubtedly affect how we show up in the world and how we influence the people and environments around us.
To dismantle this mindset, we must start naming our feelings and become comfortable articulating our more challenging emotions. Getting clear on what we’re feeling and why empowers us to take charge of our emotions and make beneficial changes. We no longer need to sweep tough feelings under the rug and pretend they didn’t happen. Instead, we can bring them into the open and solve the problems that created these feelings in the first place, supporting our ability to create our best state of wellness.
This Week’s Exploration:
Consider the following:
- When you experience a challenging feeling, ask yourself, “What is causing this response, and how can I express my experience in ways that a trusted friend or family member might understand?”
- Who are the people in your life to whom you can express your emotions without judgment?
- What will your next steps be once you have expressed yourself (e.g., deciding to move forward, making a change, etc.)?
Photo Cred: Photo by Matt Flores on Unsplash
